The pain of losing a child is a different, profound kind of grief. Because most people expect to lose their loved ones in their old age, losing someone while they’re incredibly young is nothing short of heartbreaking. While offering personalized gifts of sympathy can help you express your condolences, spoken words can warm hearts differently.
However, you have to be careful of what you are to say to a grieving parent. Through this article, we are providing help by imparting how you can comfort someone who just lost their child more tactfully.
Be understanding and sincere. Whether you’re simply saying “I am sorry for your loss” or sending a loss of child sympathy gift, you have to do it with utmost sincerity. The last thing that a grieving parent would want to hear are words that are half-heartedly or judgementally spoken. Understand what they are going through and be patient when dealing with them.
Bring up open-ended questions. Rather than straightforwardly stating something, it is safer to let them speak for themselves. You can do so by asking open-ended questions like “Is there anything I can do for you?” This gives them the chance to voice out what they have in mind and not just let things pent up inside.
Avoid phrases that can trigger negative emotions. There are phrases that can make grieving parents’ hearts feel heavier. “Look at it as a blessing or a challenge in life.” “I know exactly what you’re going through.” “A child’s death can happen to anyone.” These are words that would not do good when heard by a parent mourning over the death of his or her child.
Do not talk about your or other parents’ experiences. Every person has a different way of grieving. And each has his or her own timeline. Making comparisons of a parent’s experience to another is simply unethical. Allow the grieving person to focus on their experience, accept the things they are going through and gradually recover from the loss.
Help them remember their little one. Do not be afraid to talk about the child who passed away. When talking about him or her, you should also refer to the name of the child. This will make the parents feel that you truly care for them and the child that they’d lost. It will also help in keeping the deceased’s memories alive. When remembering their little one, share wonderful anecdotes that the parents might not even know about yet.
Offer silence. Apart from sincere condolences (which can also be expressed through giving a sympathy gift), silence is a much-needed gift for parents who had lost a child. You do not have to always say something to let them know that you are there for them. By giving them space and the quiet time that they need to process their emotions, you’re already offering a big help.
Talk to them often. Giving personalized gifts is a great idea because it gives parents something to help them remember their child. Another thing that you can do for them is to listen to them often — especially during critical dates like their child’s birthday or death anniversary. Check in on them and let them know that you’re for them in case they need some help or just someone to listen to their thoughts.
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